Blind Date
by Divergent 338
Summary: Kensi is forced to come to terms with the fact, that she and Deeks may never be and the events that unfold afterwards.
1. Chapter 1

I'm currently working on chapter 3 of Questionable Acts , but this idea just came to me. Please review, and thanks so much for the follows and favorites you guys have given me.

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><p>Kensi pulled her car to a stop in front of Deeks place, and got out shutting the door behind her. She strode up to Deeks front door, and knocked insistently. It took about 15 seconds for him to answer the door, clad only in a tee shirt and boxers, with a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth.<p>

"What the hell!"She gasped. "Deeks! You told me to pick you up at 8:15, but here you are, not dressed, not showered, and you clearly haven't been brushing those teeth long! Do you want us both to be late?" Kensi spewed on for a few moments, and Deeks let her, nodding slowly as she spoke and working away at his teeth with that damned brush.

Finally Kensi dropped her arms to her sides, "well," she muttered. "Are you going to say something? "

He smirked at her, "it's 8:13."

Kensi fixed him with a glare that made him back up a few steps, from the doorway. Twisting around slowly she started to walk back to her car.

"No, wait. Kens! Why don't you come in, I've got some pancakes set out, you can eat my breakfast while I shower. "

She spoke over her shoulder, "chocolate chip? "

"Always."

She saw Deeks take a visible sigh of relief when she followed him into the house, she didn't comment instead she enjoyed the fact that she flustered him, knowing that most woman, hell, most people wouldn't be able to affect him like that. Kensi didn't look back just heard the solid thunk of the door as Deeks shut it behind them.

"Go shower, "she insisted. "Or I'll eat all the pancakes. "

"Oh I believe it." He grumbled, making his way to the small bathroom at the back of the apartment. A minute later she heard the water turn on, and Kensi walked into the kitchen. She smiled when she took in the plate of pancakes on the table, syrup, butter and a fork neatly set beside it. She surprised even herself when she didn't stop at the plate, but instead continued walking through the apartment. It was as neat as it was the last time she saw it, and she laughed lightly looking at his couch and seeing the pink kitty pillow, but the laughter drained from her as she remembered that night. Yummy yummy heart attack, beer, and cronut, was it had taken for Deeks to come back to her last time, what would it take this time around? Although he put up his front Deeks was not the same, and she missed him she missed his arms wrapping around her, she missed his lips covering hers, most of all she missed their thing, sure since she had returned from Afghanistan, there had been some of the old flirtation and banter but it wasn't the same, he wasn't the same. Even though Kensi had hated the way they were a year ago with their strange relationship at least she had known where she stood now she was trapped in this difficult place of are we aren't we?

Kensi started when she heard the water turn off, and realized she hadn't eaten a single bite, and Deeks would be expecting the plate scrapped clean by now. She ran back to the kitchen table and smothered the pancakes in butter and syrup. She was gobbling them down when Deeks entered the room, he stopped in the doorway, brow furrowed.

"You okay Kensalina?" He asked it with just the slightest touch of worry. "Figured those would be long gone by now."

"Fine, I'm fine, " she noted his expression and said, "good, I mean good."

He grinned at her, snatched the fork from her hand and stole two bites before she had time to blink.

"Hey!" Kensi snarled, and grabbed the fork back, she turned her attention back to the food, but not before landing a light punch on his shoulder.

"Ouch," He winced. "You still got it Fern."

Kensi gave him a smile that lacked her usual humor, and although he didn't say anything she was sure Deeks noticed. Instead he just picked up the dirty plate and fork and carried them to sink, and dutifully cleaned them. Kensi watched him closely as he put away the butter and syrup, she noted his lowered eyes and slightly hunched shoulders.

"Okay!" He said, "we gotta get going before Hetty decides she is tired of us coming in late. I don't want to get the pink slip from her, but I don't think you'd look bad with one." He smirked at her, a little of his old humor back in his eyes.

"In your dreams," she said on purpose knowing that he too would remember the last time she said that and what his response was then.

Deeks didn't disappoint. "All the time, darling. All the time. " He grinned at her and grabbed his messenger bag from the hook on the kitchen wall. Kensi pretended not to stare at him, but felt her mouth go dry when she saw that little strip of bare hip as he lifted the bag over his head.

"You bout ready to go, Kens?" Deeks asked her.

Kensi looked at him curiously before she broke free of her stupor, and answered a very curious and slightly worried Deeks. "Uh, yeah. Let's uh, let's go." Her eyes drifted back to his hip for a half second, and Deeks noticed.

"Unless of course, you're too busy admiring the view, because I would totally understand that." He flashed her that same bright grin that she had fallen in love with the first time she saw it in Blood & Guts Warrior gym.

"What view?" Kensi shot back. "I just see a man with a really fat ass." She gave a sweet smile, and walked past him out the door not being able to resist it, she reached over and smacked the ass in question, before leaving the apartment with extra sway in her hips.

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They entered the bullpen to find Sam and Callen engaged in one of their usual friendly arguments.

"No, no! You can't just bail on me like that, G!"

Callen barely glanced up at Kensi and Deeks, and responded to Sam. "Sorry to leave you hanging, big guy. But I really can't watch Kamran. Not tonight anyway. "

Deeks strode into the bullpen, grinning at the two senior agents. "Something wrong, gentlemen?" He pulled the bag over his head a little slower than normal, and looked over at Kensi and gave her a suggestive smile. She stuck her tongue out at him and sat down at her seat next to Callen.

"Yeah, what's goin' on?" She piped up.

"Callen here," Sam spoke up first and gestured to Callen with a pen. "Agreed to watch my daughter tonight so Michelle and I could have a date night, but now he's backed out, cuz Joelle is getting off work early tonight and HE wants his own date night. " Sam finished with a loud sigh and looked to Kensi and Deeks for backup.

" Why can't you go out with Joelle another night?" Deeks questioned.

"She only has tonight off, then she has to work from seven to ten for the next week, so we want to go now while we can."

Kensi winced. "Ouch, sorry dude."

"That's okay." Callen winked at them.

"Yeah," Sam joined him their argument momentary forgotten at the chance of a good old ribbing. "You two know all about a girlfriend or boyfriend that has to work all hours. Don't ya?"

Kensi glanced up at Deeks knowing that normally he would be smiling and teasing right back at them, but he was currently staring at his paperwork with great fascination. "Deeks, Deeks!"

He looked at her with a slightly annoyed expression that did not belong to him. "Yeah, what Kens?"

Kensi narrowed her eyes at him before speaking. "You could watch Kamran, couldn't you Deeks?"

Before Deeks could open his mouth, Sam gasped, "NO! The last Deeks babysat for me, he told her all about Monty and left her begging for a dog for weeks."

Kensi stifled her laugh and glanced at Deeks who was also having a difficult time controlling himself.

Callen and Deeks opened their mouths to speak at the same time but they didn't get a word out, as the familiar whistle sounded from the top of the steps.

"We've got a case," Eric chimed."All hands on deck."

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Thanks for reading chapter 1 please please please review, and I would love to hear any ideas you may have for me.


	2. Chapter 2

Yes I know I should be working on Questionable Acts, and I will, but I've gotten a pretty big response to this and I gotta work where the people want me. So thanks for reading, please review, and who's excited about that Humbug kiss.

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Kensi leapt from her desk eager to get to work, she jogged up the steps patting Eric on his back as she passed him, behind her the three men rose a bit begrudgingly, not as eager to be risking their lives again. Kensi strode into OP's, exchanging a sideways high five with Nell as she walked by her. Leaning against the center table she watched the men filter into the huge room. Sam and Callen took their place by the edge of the room, Deeks came and leaned against the table beside her, Kensi was immediately aware of him, and let herself drift in his direction slightly so the hairs of his arm brushed against her. She felt his arm stiffen for a second but then relax, allowing her to touch him if only lightly.

"What's up, Velma?" Deeks coughed out, anything to get his mind off the feel of Kensi next to him, her arm grazing his. He wondered what she was thinking just looking down he could see her father's knife at her belt, he had given that back to her to show that they couldn't, shouldn't take the risk, what they did was too important, the friendship, the closeness they had was to important.

Nell began to speak in her crisp voice. "Last night a man named Kyle Warner contacted the DOD, he said he was aware of a terrorist ring that is currently planning an attack on US soil. He'll give up the names of the of those operating the ring if he is granted immunity and protection. The Senate is working on granting the immunity, but he refuses to come to us, instead saying he must be picked up and driven to a secure location. The GPS in his cell puts him in a warehouse in downtown LA." Nell took a deep breath to continue, but Hetty cut in.

"SECNAV has given us the orders pick up Mr . Warner, and if the information is credible to lead the raid on the terrorist ring."

Callen shook his head, "Something about this whole situation feels wrong. " He said. "It could be a setup, what if this is a plan cooked up by Warner and his buddies to kill some federal agents? I don't like it, too many things to go wrong."

Sam nodded thoughtfully. "Eric, what do we have on Warner?"

Eric walked up so he was front and center beside Nell. He tapped out a few commands on his tablet, and documents and images popped up on the big screen.

" Kyle Warner, age 41." He began. "Warner is an accountant for a law firm here in LA, one arrest for drunk and disorderly 6 years ago, other than that his record is cleaner then Deeks."

Deeks stifled a laugh beside Kensi and pretended to be offended, "wow, man that was hurtful."

Eric grinned, "well, I could pull up some-"

"Perhaps we could get back to the case, gentlemen." Hetty cut in, effectively ending Eric's chances of a comeback.

"Oookaaayyy," Nell pulled their attention to her. "Kyle Warner has a wife Sofia, and a brother William, but it appears that he that he is in the process of getting a divorce, records show him living with his brother for the past month."

"Okay I don't want this guy's biography, is there anything in his record that stands out?" Callen spoke up.

"Nothing we have found so far," Nell replied not in the least bit fazed by Callen's snap."But we'll keep digging, and let you guys know if anything comes up."

Callen turned towards Kensi and Deeks, "you guys go talk to the brother and wife. Sam and I will go over this plan, we have a couple hours until we pick up Warner let's use it."

The four team members walked swiftly out the door, Nell and Hetty looked anxiously at each other they both knew Callen was right something was off about this mission, and if wasn't played exactly right, people were going to lose their lives.

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A little over an hour later Kensi pulled into the mission parking lot, she slapped the steering wheel lightly with the palm of her hand, and let out a heavy sigh of frustration. They had driven to the boatshed,and talked to Sofia and William Warner, though Sofia was quick to remind them that she wouldn't be a Warner for long, and then to prove her point spent the remainder of the Q&A flirting with Deeks. Despite all that the interviews were fruitless, they got nothing talk of what a wonderful man Kyle is from the brother, and talk of how Kyle is boring but not necessarily bad from the ex.

"Kensi," the soft way he spoke her name made her turn her head and look at Deeks.

" You - you ahh." He stuttered briefly, then reached over the center console and took her hand. He smiled to himself before he spoke again. "I'm not gonna ask you if you're okay, because I know you're not. The thing that's bothering me is that if I were to ask you what's wrong you would say something about the case." Deeks paused his thumb rubbing tiny circles in the skin between her thumb and forefinger. " And Kensi, we both know that you've been acting different all morning, long before we knew that Kyle Warner was even a person. So I'm going to ask you what's really wrong, and I'm gonna hope you give me an honest answer." He looked at her pointedly waiting for her to speak.

Kensi looked right back, she knew he was going to see her and figure she was being defiant, but in reality she just trying to find the courage to answer him.

Deeks facial expression went from cautiously hopeful to resigned sadness, "well" He mouthed to her before shaking his head and moving to open the door.

"Wait!" She cried out and winced, Kensi Blye NEVER sounded like that. " You never asked me."

"What's wrong, Kensi." He smiled faintly and moved his hand to her cheek letting his thumb caress the circles on cheekbone now. "Tell me, and I'll do whatever I can to fix it."

Kensi turned as away from him as she could with his hand on her face. " Deeks, that's kinda what the problem is."

"What are you about, Kens?"

"This, us, our-our thing!" She burst out, looking over at him, Kensi could see surprise radiating off his features. "I can't keep doing this, Deeks. Whatever this is, I can't keep doing it."

Deeks whispered, "I don't know what you mean." And he felt a twinge as he lied to her, he knew exactly what she meant. Dammit, he felt the same way and wasn't this his job, to speak when words were called for instead of gestures and metaphors.

"Every since you handed that knife back to me, we've been caught in this strange place where there are no answers, but a thousand questions. What I'm trying to say is that I can't be caught in this place anymore, I need an answer. Do-do you."

Kensi stammered and found her tongue again. "Do you want us, Deeks? Or do you intend to stay in this place forever? Because giving you up would hurt like hell, Deeks. But staying in this place hurts more."

Deeks roughly twisted her head so she was staring him directly in the eye. "Kensi Blye, I want you more than anything else in this world."

He paused and Kensi leaned in to kiss him. But he stopped her with just six words. "But I can't be with you." He shook his head. "The stakes are too high, Kensi. The work we do, plus the fact that you're my best friend, Kensi. My only real friend, really. If we didn't work out I'd lose that, and I can't lose that, princess."

Somehow it's the use of his silly nickname for her, that pushes Kensi off the edge. "Then you're a damn coward." She spits. Throwing open the car door she steps out, Deeks chases after her and grabs her wrist, trying to pull her back, trying to explain himself.

Kensi wrenches her wrist back, and slaps him hard across the face, then says to him. "Don't touch me, don't you EVER touch me again! You just lost that chance." She storms away into the mission leaving Deeks stunned and hurt behind her.

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Wow, I know that probably wasn't how you thought this chapter would end, hell I didn't think it would end like this. But thanks for reading I'll try and update as soon as possible. Ideas and helpful hints are appreciated. Please please please review, your reviews, follows, and favorites are my muse as long you like it I'll write it.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey, just a warning this is a looonnng chapter. I thought about splitting it in half, but that didn't seem to work. This whole chapter needs to be together. I wrote it over the weekend and it kinda took on a mind of its own and wrote itself. This chapter is a bit more action-oriented then the past two and scares me cuz I've never been that good at action scenes, as I'm sure you'll see. Please, please, please review. I love getting emails telling me that I have them. I'd love any ideas you may have too. I'll go now because you're probably getting annoyed by the length of the authors note, let alone the length of the chapter.

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Kensi Blye burst though the doors of the mission, looking like she'd just been through hell and back. Callen, Sam, and the wonder twins watched as she raged past them, never glancing in their direction once. A moment later her partner eased his way into building, slowly, nervously. He walked into the bullpen, and glanced uneasily at his curious and suspicious co-workers.

"Is Kensi okay," Sam finally spoke breaking the silence that had formed around them.

Deeks cleared his throat and looked around the group one more time before answering the question. "No, Sam. I don't think she is."

Sam briskly stood up, his chair pushed far behind him from the sudden movement. "Well then do you care to tell me what the hell happened between you two! Kensi comes in here looking like she wants to kill someone, and here you are acting like a scared puppy dog. Are we supposed to trust you to have each others backs after the display you're putting on, are we supposed to trust you to have our backs?!"

Deeks lowered his shoulders looking defeated. "You trust whomever you want Sam, Kensi's not stopping you and neither am I."

Sam bristled with anger, Callen watching the confrontation could see the men were close to throwing punches. "Deeks, come with me." Callen ordered. He led Deeks a few feet away from Sam, into the coffee preparation area.

"You know you have to tell me what happened, Deeks." Callen stated, he felt uncomfortable to say the least questioning his friend and co-worker. "Sam, he shouldn't have come at you like that, but he's protective of us, we're his family, and Kensi shes his little sister. But the truth is Deeks, I don't wanna to ask you about this, since I'm guessing that it's something private, but Sam is right, we have to know that you two can watch out for each other and us. So tell me the truth, or I'll have to go to Kensi for it and I don't think you'd want me to do that."

Deeks who had been running his hand through his unruly hair glanced at Callen sharply when Kensi was mentioned. "Leave her out of this, Callen."

"It's a bit late for that isn't it."

Deeks shook his head, and snuck a brief look at the rest of the team, Sam was staring off into space, his mouth set in a firm line, Nell had moved into Callen's desk chair and was watching him with a worried expression, though she quickly looked away when Deeks saw her, finally Eric was behind Nell a comforting hand rested on her shoulder. Deeks watched all this then turned his gaze back to his expectant team leader.

"What goes on in our personal lives has nothing to do with how we handle ourselves at work, you don't have to worry about me, and you sure as hell don't have to worry about Kensi she'll act professionally." Deeks smiled ruefully. "She always does."

"Um, we need to talk about case, guys. You have to pick up Warner in one hour." Nell cut into their conversation.

"I'll find Kensi," Deeks muttered.

" Ahh, um, that's."

"Spit it out, Eric!" Deeks and Callen spoke at the same time.

Eric shifted from foot to foot nervously. "I texted her and said she was needed in the bullpen, she should be here in a sec."

"Here." Kensi's suddenly close voice made them all jump. Every pair of eyes was on her as she entered the bullpen and went to stand behind her desk.

Deeks felt every inch between them, noticing that she had put the desk as well as several feet of space in between them when normally they were standing so close they grazed each others arms.

Sam still sat in a stony silence, and Nell and Eric were watching Kensi with timid and slightly scared looks.

"Nell!" Callen's sharp voice shook them all of of their stupor, " The case, Nell?"

"Oh, right! Sorry!" The petite young woman closed her eyes for a half second to collect herself and began to speak.

Deeks however wasn't hearing a word she said. He was watching Kensi desperately trying to catch her eye. When she finally turned her mismatched eyes to him, he cautiously mouthed the words. "I'm sorry" to her safe with the knowledge that Kensi Marie Blye master lip reader would understand him. He could tell immediately that she did understand him, but all she did was turn away and look back at Nell. Her rejection to his attempt to fix things almost crippled him with agony, so it was with a heavy heart that he too directed his attention to Nell.

"The warehouse Warner is in has several entrances." Nell said. "Warner has instructed us to enter through the west side one, he says he'll be waiting for you near that doorway. I examined the blueprints of the building and it has," Nell paused to pull the blueprints themselves on the plasma. "A fairly simple layout," She resumed. "A tactical team has arranged themselves in the surrounding area in the last hour in case anything goes wrong, and there are a few buildings around the warehouse in question if you need to hunker down for cover." Nell turned to look at them, silently asking if they had questions.

Callen stood quietly for a moment, head cocked to the side taking in what Nell said. Then he pulled himself up straight and twisted his head from side to side unraveling the knot in his shoulders. "Kensi," He rolled his neck a little more. "I need you to go to the armory and pull out your rifle, you may have to dust off your sniper skills by the end of today." Callen turned around to face his team. "Sam and I will be the ones officially picking up Warner, but I fully intend for both of you to be there as backup." He directed his words to Kensi and Deeks. "Kens, I want you going in as our eyes from above, you can perch on top of one the surrounding warehouses and watch out for us. Deeks you'll be hiding in the backseat of the Challenger so if trouble comes you'll be close by to help the big man and me out." Callen cleared his throat and looked at the partners. "Any questions?" They both shook their heads and walked away separately, Callen could see the tension growing between them he only hoped they settled the dispute before it shattered the partnership and fixing things was no longer a possibility.

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"Kensi, you in position?" Callen's voice sounded through her comm.

She wriggled in the gravel rooftop before answering. "Yup, you guys have the go ahead, everything is clear."

A few seconds later Sam's gleaming black Challenger pulled into the lot. She watched as the senior agents stepped out of the car and walked stealthy towards the warehouse, each step showed how truly uncomfortable they were with the situation.

Once Sam and Callen were inside the huge building there was nothing she could do but wait, stretched out across the hot surface of the rooftop. Her gaze flickered to the Challenger again, settling on where she knew Deeks was. As angry as she was at the blonde detective currently, a flash of guilt went through her body as she remembered slapping him, it reminded her far to much of the time almost a year ago when her fist slammed into his jaw. He hadn't deserved it then, but Kensi still hadn't decided if he deserved it this time around. Did he really think that they may not be able to be together, that if they fought they would just... break up? Does he really think that now, after all this she'd be happy to just be friends?

No, Kensi told herself. Damn Deeks and his fear, if he doesn't want us, then I can't want us either. A bolt of pain went through her body at the idea of never having him, but Kensi was forced to ignore it because Sam and Callen were leaving the warehouse with Warner a small man with short brown hair stuck between them.

"Everything good, Sam?" Deeks voice filled her head.

"So far." Sam's grim voice came on next. "So far."

If she hadn't looked away to try and convince herself to stop focusing on the way his drawl made her want nothing more then to run her fingers through his dirty blond hair and kiss him until her lips were swollen she wouldn't have seen it, if her eyes hadn't drifted away from Sam and Callen and the the thought of Deeks for just that one second she would have missed it.

A single man running across the lot towards her team members, assault rifle tucked down by his leg, he was still several hundred yards from the men and Kensi could have easily taken him out from the rooftop, but from the second she saw the man her mind stopped working.

Kensi stood quickly and strapped the snipers gun to her back, she jogged to the side of the roof where she had seen a rusty ladder attached to the wall earlier. As she's climbed down the ladder Deeks voice burst into ears. "Kensi! What are you doing?! I got him, stay on the roof! Kensi!" The frantic sound to his voice spurred her on rather then stopping her, and she heard his cry of, "God Dammit" in her head.

Kensi reached the ground now hearing not just Deeks, but Sam and Callen yelling at her to stop now! Reaching up Kensi tore the comm from her ear, effectively killing their voices. Tears blurred her vision as she ran and Kensi used her free hand to wipe them away keeping her Sig secured in her right hand, if she survives Deeks will kill her, hell, Sam and Callen will probably assist in the act, and she won't blame them. If this were Deeks doing what she is doing now she would shoot him and not feel guilty in the least. But she can't stop, every single part of her is pulsing to the same beat, telling her to kill this man and not give a damn about what happens afterwards.

Maybe twenty feet away from the armed man Kensi let out a deafening "HEY!"

She watched as the man stopped and his arms slacken, "Turn around and drop the gun." She ordered. Slowly he twisted around, he dropped the rifle and kicked it away from him, he was standing directly in front of her his features sharp and piecing, when Kensi saw his expression fear radiated through her body.

He is surprised, definitely. But the expression on his face was one of cruel joy, as his gaze focused on something over her shoulder. Kensi immediately turned around to another man whose was gun pointed directly at her torso.

There was a loud bang when the gun went off, and a sharp pain that began in her chest and continued through her until every part of her being was filled with the red hot agony. Kensi felt herself go down, felt her cheek sliding across the pavement of the lot as it tore off her skin.

She heard Deeks voice screaming her name when he saw her go down, she heard rapid fire gunshots in the air, as she fought to stay awake.

A man face suddenly blocked her sunlight and the leering profile of her shooter appeared above her. Kensi watched him as he rose his gun to put the kill shot into her forehead, and closed her eyes so the last thing she saw isn't him, she was just calling to mind the sight of Deeks smiling face above hers the one night they spent together, when she heard the gunshot and felt the warm explosion of blood across her face.

"Kensi!" She heard his scream, Desperate for her. "Kensi!"

A heavy weight dropped to the ground beside her, and hand lifted her head up and set it on something warm and soft. "Kensi?" His voice was just a murmur now and Kensi forced herself to open her eyes.

His blond curls were matted to his head with sweat and blood, and crimson liquid dripped down his arm onto her thigh from a wound in his upper arm.

Tears flooded Deeks eyes when he saw her eyes open and he made no effort to hide them. Not being able to stop himself he reached down and stroked her cheek softly.

"You're okay, Kens." He whispered more to himself then her. He brushed her hair back from where her head rested in his lap, and whispered a few nonsensical things to her before he realized she was unconscious.

Sam and Callen appeared behind him as if by magic and Deeks rose his gun, before he realized it was them.

"An ambulance is on the way." Callen said warily.

"Where's Warner?" Deeks uttered and looked around anxiously.

"Dead," Sam said gruffly.

"Shit." Deeks whispered.

" Kensi has a lot to answer for, Deeks!" Sam muttered. "If she had taken that guy out from the rooftop, or at the very least warned us we could have saved Warner, instead we're taken by surprise when a group of three guys attack us! We were lucky to escape with our own lives we hardly made it, Warner didn't! Now this whole mission is screwed!" He threw his hands into the air in a sign of anger, fear, and confusion.

"Sam!" Callen said his voice raised slightly.

"I don't understand, G. Why would she do this, why, why would she do this?" Panic was fluttering into the voice of the always stead, calm agent.

"Sam!" Callen yelled, and Sam turned in surprise to his partner, before sinking down to his knees and burying his face in one hand.

Callen watched his best friend for a minute, before looking to Deeks. "She okay?" He asked Deeks a hopeful note in his voice.

"I-I don't know, she's wearing her vest so she's not bleeding, but I think somethings wrong, maybe she broke a rib, or. I don't know, Callen. I don't know, and right now there's nothing I can do to help her." The younger man started to hyperventilate slightly panic setting in, he began to rock and forth cradling Kensi's head in his lap whispering to himself again. "Why did I say those things to her? Why didn't I help her? I should have saved her, I should have saved her!"

Callen sunk down to the ground in between the two men he worked with side by side every day, he rested his pounding head in both hands and let the sound of ambulance siren getting closer by the second carry him into oblivion.

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Okay well I hoped you liked that. As you can I'm not great with action scenes though.

As a CHRISTMAS gift of a sort I'm updating both my fanfic stories today, so take a look over at Questionable Acts too. And please review.


	4. Chapter 4

**Well hello there, hope this chapter is finding you well. If you're hoping for a lot of case work in this chapter sorry not much. I promise the next which I've already started will have more action. If you want a lot Densi then you're in luck this chapter is mainly about fixing the damage that occurred in chapter two. Bye good reading and thanks for everything you've done.**

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><p>The harsh smell of chemicals tickled Kensi's nose bringing her into a state of semi-consciousness, and she was suddenly aware of a loud bleeping, and a man yelling.<p>

"Let me in! Let me in, I have to see her! You've gotta let me in!" Deeks screamed from the hallway

Kensi groaned, still half asleep, straining towards him, and the bleeping by her head increased.

"Sir, Sir,you need to calm down, you are causing disturbance,this noise is not good for Ms. Blye."

The man's calming voice finally tugged her away from the last tendrils of sleep and Kensi weakly opened her eyes to see three men in scrubs holding back the frantic Detective, while a doctor in a white lab coat with a serene voice attempted to compose Deeks.

"Deeks." She murmured raising one hand out to him.

Deeks crazed form stilled and looked at her then back to the doctor. His expression distraught. "Please." He begged.

The doctor glanced between the partners and resigned. "Okay, let him through."

The nurses released Deeks and he bounded to her, but the doctor stopped him with a hand on his chest.

"You upset her, and impede her recovery. I will personally have you escorted from this hospital and you will not be allowed back while Ms. Blye is a patient under my care."

Deeks nodded briskly and brushed past him, so the four men left the room with defeated expressions.

Once the were alone and Deeks had finally reached her bedside, his frenzied movements from earlier became slow and awkward, as he was clearly remembering her orders from that afternoon to never touch her again, and the slap that had accompanied them.

He reached for her and apparently decided against it, because his arm jerked back to his side, but he must have reconsidered again, and his hand tentatively made its way to her unharmed cheek and caressed it tenderly.

"I'm so sorry, Kens." The pain in his voice was palpable.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." She reached up and covered his hand with hers, lacing their fingers together. "I could have easily taken him out from the rooftop, but I didn't, because I wanted to feel useful, I wanted to protect you, but I really just put you in more danger." A thought springs to her head and she's embarrassed that it took her this long.

"How are Callen and Sam, Warner too?"

His face fell and instantly fear crept into her heart. "Deeks?"

"Callen and Sam are fine, but Warner he's uh,he's dead, Kensi. But you don't need to blame yourself it's not your fault, Kens." He quickly added

Kensi sunk deep into the stack of pillows adorning her bed, she used her free hand to cover eyes and concentrated on using every bit of control she had left on not breaking down and sobbing in front of Deeks, the way she had that day in the boatshed after Wallace had too far questioning her, bringing painful memories she had tried so hard to hide to the surface, bubbling to break free as if too suffocate her with the weight of them. He had held her then, pressed her tightly against himself until her tears stopped and then wiped them away with the pad of his thumb, whispering a joke to make her laugh, while also uttering that promise that sent a shiver down her spine every time she thought of it, of the implications it held. "I've got more moments."

She also remembered how in her moment of weakness when he had made an innocent enough remark, about partners how her breaking voice had wobbled "partners?" The question mark at the end as obvious to him as it was to her. It was only her complete trust in him that allowed her to turn around in that moment, tears trailing down her face. Wrapped up in his arms she felt so incredibly safe, like he could and would protect her from anything. Despite how wonderful and luxurious it had felt in his arms the same feelings that would have kept her, also pulled her away. Hell knows that Bad Ass Blye couldn't admit to wanting a man, and not just any man, scruffy LAPD detective Marty Deeks. She couldn't admit to wanting, craving the protection his arms offered her.

But at that moment Kensi Marie Blye wanted nothing more then to shuck her pride to the side and cuddle into his warm chest, so when he opened his arms up to her a look of vulnerability on his face she did exactly that.

Eventually he sat down beside her on the bed, still wrapped around her, her head still buried in his shoulder.

It was Deeks that pulled back, and smoothed the tousled hair from her face, wiped away the tears and dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose.

"It's my fault, I screwed up the case."

Deeks shook his head vehemently. "No Kensi, it's- it's not your fault-"

She cut him off. "Dammit Deeks don't try to defend me! It IS my fault, it clearly is my fault. One simple pull of the trigger and he would have been dead. Now Warner is dead and this whole mission has gone straight to hell."

He looked at her, his expression full of anguish, and Kensi almost took back her words if only bring a smile to his face.

"I'm afraid that Ms. Blye is right." A small but domineering voice sounded from the doorway, and the partners turned to see Hetty watching them gravely.

"What are you doing here, Hetty?" Deeks asked the words coming out colder then he had intended.

"Well, Mr. Deeks." Hetty strode forward until she was standing right next to the bed. "I came here to see why one of the best trained teams in this country couldn't handle a simple pickup, I came here to find out what you are planning to do about your current situation. But most of all Mr. Deeks, I came to see if my employee was well."

Kensi entered the conversation. "Am I okay, Hetty? I just woke up they haven't told me anything yet."

Hetty surveyed the two of them before speaking, Kensi lying on the hospital bed weakly, Deeks sitting next to her an arm tucked around her shoulders protectively, while she had her face nestled in his chest.

"You have two cracked ribs, and the bullet did some damage to your spleen, nothing serious but you're going to need to take this easy for a bit, Kensi."

"That means no field work." Deeks looked at the tall brunette strictly.

"Oh, come on-" Kensi started.

Hetty shook her head. "Mr. Deeks is right, you're to take the next three days off, and for two weeks you will in desk duty. No excuses, Ms. Blye, and I'm quite certain that your partner will agree with me."

Deeks looked at his boss concerned. "What about me? Do I get days off, I don't wanna leave her alone."

Hetty sighed deeply. "You can go home with her during her three days off-"

"Thank you so much, Hetty. I can't-"

"I wasn't finished, Mr. Deeks. You will continue to be on call during these days, and if there are any updates on the Warner case that need your attention you will respond promptly."

Deeks was about to argue the point but Kensi spoke up. "Of course, Hetty. Thank you for coming."

"Anytime, Ms. Blye. Anytime." With those parting words Hetty left as quickly as she had come.

They both drew in a deep breath before glancing at each other.

"Well that was creepy." Deeks joked his ever present smirk on his face.

"Deeks." She took one more breath to fill her lungs before turning back to him, his face only inches from hers.

"I'm sorry." She began.

"Kens." She heard his voice uneasy trying to stop her from saying the words he simply wanted to sweep under the rug, and continued on as if she hadn't heard anything.

"Slapping you was..slapping you was wrong. You have your right to feel that way, to not want us, for three years I did the same thing, pretended I didn't know what you were talking about all those times when your flirtation turned into something more. Pretended that I had no idea what you talking about when you said those vague metaphors you have a penchant for. Pretended I could forget about you kissing me on that hill. Pretended that I didn't miss you while you were gone, when in reality every single second without your banter, your laughter, your shameless flirting, hurt like hell. Every second of looking across the bullpen and seeing your empty chair hurt like hell."

Kensi shuddered remembering those days when Deeks the only place of light in her life was trapped in that dark place, the place she finally pulled him out of with the help of a stale pastry.

"Kensi," Deeks started. "It's not I don't want us. I just..."

"Shh let me finish. What I'm trying to say is." Kensi paused swallowed her fear, decided that she did want to do this.

"What I'm trying to say is that I love you, Deeks, and what you said to me hurt, but I don't believe it's true. Deeks, you've been fighting for us since the moment we became partners, taking every little piece of me I'd give you, and next day you'd be grappling for more. So don't try and tell me that the moment I try to give you the most important thing: my heart, you don't want it. Maybe you're scared, Deeks, and if you are that's fine, because you know what you waited three years for me, so I think I can wait for you. Because I meant what I said, I love you." Kensi glanced up from the tiny hole in her blanket that she had studying.

There was fear on his face definitely, but there was something else. A faint smile, the same smile that had touched his face when she had asked him by the ambulance to be patient with her.

Kensi took his hand in hers and squeezed it lightly. "Take your time, I'll be right here waiting." She sealed her words with another squeeze of his hand and feather light kiss on his cheek, and the smile that lifted his lips at the edges lets her know that he would remember her words, and maybe just maybe one day he would be there to meet her halfway. A smile stayed on her face as snuggled her way back into his chest and fell asleep again. The same faint smile was on Deeks face too, when he enveloped her in his arms and leaned back against the headboard letting himself drift to sleep.

...

...

The sudden presence of a human being in Kensi's room brings Deeks to his feet gun ready and pointed at the possible assailant. A heart beat later he recognized the man as Kensi's doctor, the man who had only two hours ago fought to keep him away from Kensi.

Shoving his gun into the waistband of his jeans Deeks acknowledged the doctor with a gruff voice.

"I suppose I should thank you for protecting Ms. Blye." The doctor responded.

"Sure thing, doc." Deeks plastered a cocky grin on his face.

"My name." The doctor said stiffly. "Is Dr. Michael Leemen."

"Gotcha, doc."

The doctor, Michael as he had said his name was turned away from Deeks, but not before the detective saw a grin flint it's way across his face.

"Ms. Blye." Dr. Leemen turned to Kensi who sitting wide eyed on the mattress after being jotted awake by Deeks jumping out of bed. "I came directly to inform you that you've been given permission to be discharged from this hospital, if that is your desire."

Deeks glanced at Kensi who grinned. "Definitely, yes that is my desire."

"Is this safe?" Deeks questioned. "Seems like someone with a couple of cracked ribs and spleen damage should be staying in a hospital longer then a five, six hours."

"Deeks." He ignored Kensi's warning tone.

Leemen's mouth twisted into a pucker. "Honestly, I'd love to keep her here another day for observation, but technically we can't keep her because there nothing immediately wrong with her that we can deal with. As long she's taken care of, she'll be fine."

Looking at Kensi, Deeks asked. "You gonna let me take care of you?"

"There will be a limit." She grinned mischievously at him.

Deeks did a fake a fake ah-uh-uh-uh laugh back to her and smirked.

Deeks turned to the doctor again. "She's on a strong pain medication isn't she? She's been saying and doing some things she wouldn't do normally and let's just say earlier she told me some things that she wouldn't say when she was sober."

Dr. Leemen nodded. "She is on a strong pain medication, one which you have a prescription for Ms. Blye and you will be expected to fill it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go find your discharge paperwork Ms. Blye."

When the doctor left the room Deeks let a out a small huff of breath and Kensi leaned heavily against the headboard.

Deeks glanced around the room as if to cement his surroundings and grabbed his jacket from a bench on the far side of the room. Shrugging on his shoulders, Deeks offered one hand to Kensi, she grabbed it and swung her legs over the side of the bed, coming to rest on unsteady feet, she buckled slightly and would have toppled to the ground, if not for the strong arm her partner eased around her waist.

"Okay princess, I've got you. Let's go home."

...

...

Deeks flicked on the light in Kensi's apartment and groaned comically. "Seriously, Kens? You might crack another couple ribs tripping over all this crap."

Passing him in the doorway Kensi spared a second to throw a quick punch his way.

Deeks caught her hand and entwined their fingers. "Before we get physical, Kens. Let's try and get you settled in."

"Shut up." Kensi reached down to try and grab her bag from his free hand, but he pulled away.

"You really think I'm going to let you carry something now?" Deeks shook his head playfully. "Nuh-uh! I don't think so."

Deeks led the way to her bedroom at the back of the apartment, and proceeded to unpack her go bag and put everything away. "So you won't be tempted to use it." He told when she asked him why.

When her whole bag was empty he set her on the bed turning on the TV she had placed across the room, setting it to one of the many Top Model episodes on the DVR.

Deeks then left the room only to return a half hour later with her newly filled prescription and a sandwich from her favorite deli down the street.

"You didn't have to do this." Kensi said her voice muffled by the piece of provolone stuffed in her mouth.

"Yes I did."

She watched as he walked towards her door and started to leave. "Wait!" She spit out and then recovered, embarrassed by her outburst. "Where are you going?"

"Living room." Deeks pointed out the door.

"Can't you...stay?"

That same faint smile crossed his face and he stretched out on the beside her, after waiting the socially excepted two minutes Kensi slid over the bed and curled into his side, burying her face into the crook of his neck. She took a deep breath, breathing in his smell, clean, salty, and distinctively male. It took all of another two minutes for Kensi to pass out surrounded by his warmth, slipping into a deep luxurious sleep.

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><p><strong>When I was planning this chapter it was gonna have more in it but it just longer and longer so I decided to publish it like this. Really hope you like it. PLEASE REVIEW. I BEG OF YOU REVIEW! <strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay here's chapter 5! This chapter was SUPER difficult to write, andthe fact that I got it out so fast is mainly thanks to the insanely amazing Bookdiva. If you like this chapter just thank her! This chapter is favorite so far of em. Really hope you like it! Please review if you do! **

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><p>A pounding on the front door tore Kensi away from sleep, and Deeks tightened beneath her, picking himself up off the bed and sliding his gun from the waistband of his jeans.<p>

"Stay." He mouthed and walked through the apartment, noticing immediately that Kensi ignored him and was following closely behind.

His expression intense Deeks peeked around the curtains cautiously and then visibly relaxed. Opening the door he let out a "hey is everything good guys?" and shut it behind Sam and Callen when they entered her place.

After the usual gentle hugs and greetings had passed, the senior agents turned to Deeks.

"We need to talk." Sam said. "Something has come up in the case, you need to hear this."

"Well what about me?" This time it was Kensi's voice entering the discussion.

"I'm not so sure that's a great idea." Callen said.

"Let her hear."

"Deeks I-"

"Let her hear!"

With a deep sigh Sam took over the conversation. "Sofia and William Warner disappeared,so Eric did a little more digging, turns out they and Kyle our victim didn't exist until ten years ago. So Callen and I went back to William's place, we found a burn phone hidden under the carpet in the master bedroom. According to history several calls have been placed to other burn phones that track back to the middle east."

"Wow, wow, hold on a minute." Deeks shook one hand through the air. "You're saying Warner was a terrorist?"

Sam shook his head. "Not just a terrorist, Deeks. A martyr, a distraction. So we would focus on him, meanwhile not noticing what the real problem is."

Kensi nodded, having caught on. "There's gonna be an attack, here on US soil."

Callen purses his lips and grimly acknowledged that Kensi's assumption was correct. "Right now our only leads are Sofia and William, but of course we have no idea where they are, or who the hell they really are!"

Kensi watched her partner rub a hand across his mouth, and utter a quiet curse before returning to the conversation. "So what do we do?"

Callen scoffed. "There's nothing we can do, Deeks. We have no witnesses, no leads, not even a single god damn statement to help us."

"There's gotta be something we can do." Deeks protested.

Sam exchanged looks with Callen and turned his attention to Deeks. "We wait."

...

...

"Are you sure you shouldn't be at the mission?" Kensi asked for the fourth time that hour.

Deeks plopped down on the couch beside her. "I told you, when I called Nell she said it wouldn't be necessary because there would be nothing I could do anyway. Now, you're starting to hurt my feelings. You don't want me here, is that what this is?"

"Nooo, I just don't want Hetty to get upset, or uh, you know, um, Callen too get more pissed than he already is." She added quickly, hoping to god he doesn't notice the blush burning up her skin.

Deeks stared at her, eyes narrowed. Suddenly it clicked and those blue orbs opened wide. "Oh my god! You're remembering, what you said in the hospital! That's why you don't want me here, you're embarrassed!"

Kensi scoffed. "Yeah, right."

Deeks snorted. "Oh this is precious, bad ass Blye, embarrassed."

"Drop it, Deeks!" She snapped and to her great surprise he did, and they sat in silence for the next hour.

The TV droned on in front of them, some pointless show Kensi had put on in her boredom. Twisting her head from side to side Kensi snuck a peek at Deeks, his eyes were drooping and he looked to be about as into the show as she was. Slowly and silently she slid across the couch until she was up against him and rested her head on his shoulder. Almost instantaneously his eyes popped open, and his body noticeably stiffened. He quickly rose from the couch, and Kensi threw out an arm to balance herself as the cushions shifted underneath her. Her sudden motion sent pain rushing through her, and she uttered a curse before pressing her free hand to the aggravated ribs.

"What the hell, Deeks?"

Lifting one hand, he scratched the back of his neck, and ran his fingers through his hair. "Listen, uh, you need to get to bed, it's getting late, and I think we've had enough stress for one day."

Kensi blew out a frustrated moan, and she too rose from the couch. "Okay then, I'll uh, see you in morning?" Glancing up at him quizzically, she gave him a chance to join her in the bedroom, but Deeks simply nodded and said a reserved "Goodnight."

"So you're going home?"

Deeks lifted his head briefly to acknowledge her, before lowering his eyes again. "Figured I'd just stay on the couch tonight, in case you need anything."

"Okay. Goodnight." Kensi swiftly turned and walked to her bedroom, teeth embedded in her bottom lip.

However much she needed sleep, it didn't come easily that night, and it was at least three before exhaustion took over and Kensi passed out.

...

...

The next morning Kensi awoke to banging and off key singing coming from her kitchen, reaching across her pillow to find her Sig in her nightstand, she felt a sudden sharp stab of pain in her side and the events of yesterday registered. She paused and realized the noise was Deeks cooking breakfast and singing Wouldn't It Be Nice.

Sliding out of bed she put on her bathrobe and used the toilet, before creaking open her door and walking down the hallway.

Deeks was waiting for her behind the counter with a plate of eggs and toast. He handed it to her along with a half hearted smile.

"Wow, yesterday pancakes, and today eggs. Have I been a good girl?" She said wryly, waiting for the suggestive comment Deeks was sure to make. Instead he shrugged and pulled out his own plate. They ate in silence, and afterwards Deeks gathered their dirty dishes and scrubbed them clean.

Kensi made her way to the couch and sat down, favoring her right side where her ribs ached. "Aww, crap!" She murmured as a fresh string of pain ran through them. Deeks appeared at her side suddenly with a glass of water and two pain pills.

"Take these." He ordered, his voice insistent. Seeing the look in his eyes, Kensi complied.

After she took the medication Deeks visibly relaxed and sat down on the couch beside her.

"You good?" He asked.

"Not really."

A small huff of frustration escaped him. "You sleep last night?"

"Not really."

"Is there any particular reason for that?"

Kensi turned her mismatched eyes to him. "You know exactly why."

Deeks watched her for a moment before turning his gaze away. "We're not talking about this, Kens."

"We have too! I'm not going to go on like this I can't! I know what I said yesterday about being patient with you, but I've been patient, Deeks! I've been patient for months now, and I'm starting to question how much longer I can do this."

"I said we're not going to talk about this." Deeks looked at daringly, and Kensi pushed back.

"Of course we're not."

Deeks stared at her and barely concealed rage flitted across his blue eyes. "How the hell can you of all people say that! I have tried for-" He shook his head. "Ya know what, not worth it."

Kensi simply picked up the remote and turned the TV ignoring the lump his words had placed in her throat.

...

...

It was lunchtime when they finally rose from the couch and walked to kitchen, Kensi pulling sandwich materials out of the refrigerator, while Deeks converted them into actual sandwiches.

As Deeks worked a laugh suddenly made its way out of his mouth. "Ya know I worked a deli one time undercover."

"Really?" Kensi's tone was sarcastic, but Deeks didn't hear it and carried on.

"Yeah, that time was fun, one of my better assignments."

"Well, I'm glad you had such a pleasant time."

Deeks looked at her curiously. "What's wrong."

"Oh I don't know." Kensi lashed out, knowing full well that she was being ridiculous. "Just wondering what the hell you're doing here, when you could be hanging out in bikini bars, sleeping with strippers, and living the glamorous life undercover."

"Okay." He said slowly, clearly confused. "Working at a deli hardly counts as glamorous and I didn't sleep with strippers."

"Oh so just hostesses and waitresses then, huh?"

"Kensi-" His tone warned her, but she kept digging.

"No I get it, believe me I get it. Why stay here when you could be off living the high life, drinking, money, hitting the clubs."

"Kensi!"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Deeks. I get it, life before NCIS, before our partership was freaking awesome wasn't it? And now? Now it sucks."

His hand slammed down on the counter and Kensi started. "Honestly, Kens? Yeah I loved my life before I met you, it was everything I ever wanted! And with life the way it is now, with YOU the way you are now, yeah I miss it. I miss the freedom, I miss how easy things were. And this?" He said pointing back and forth between them. "Yeah, I don't think I'd miss this."

A heavy silence dropped around them and they simply stared at each other, Kensi's hands digging into the edge of the countertop. The sudden chiming of Deeks' phone caused them both to jump and his hand swept the phone out of his pants pocket to answer it.

"It's Nell." Deeks said gruffly before he held it to his ear.

"Yeah, uh-huh, okay gotcha. I'll be there in forty-five minutes."

He turned towards her and gestured to the phone in his hand. "There's been a development in the Warner case, I need to go in."

Kensi had twisted away from him and at his words she nodded and waved him away. "Yeah, yeah of course. Go."

Deeks began to walk away, but spoke quietly to her. "Kensi, I-"

"Just go, Deeks. Just..go."

A moment later Kensi heard the front door open and close, and she let herself collapse to the floor, and gathering her knees to her chest she sobbed into them. He'd left. The last man in her life, the most important man in her life had left. He was gone, and it was all her damn fault.

...

...

Bursting through the doors of the mission Deeks was immediately greeted by Nell. "OP's now." Was all she said, before rushing up the steps. Deeks was at her heels and entered through the doors beside the petite young woman. Sam and Callen were already waiting inside, along with Hetty and Eric whom Nell quickly joined.

"Late last night cameras caught Sofia Warner coming into JFK airport. Records show that she got a rental car and several traffic cams revealed that she entered into Washington DC approximately one hour ago. Further examination lead to us discovering William Warner doing the same thing as well as several other suspected terrorists." Nell paused in her narration to tap her tablet and bring up the terrorist photos on the big screen, along with the video footage of the Warner's and the suspected terrorists. "Hetty has spoken with SECNAV and it has been decided that agents Hanna and Callen will travel to DC accompanied by Detective Deeks to pursue and stop this terrorist ring before serious damage to our national security occurs." Nell stopped speaking and stared at the three men seriously. "Get your go bags, there's a plane waiting."

Deeks left OP's with Sam and Callen and jogged down the stairs to the bullpen. Heading to his locker he grabbed his go bag and slung it over his shoulder. Briefly he thought of Kensi and wondered if he was doing the right thing, running after they had such an argument. But before he could dwell on the matter Callen was calling for him and Deeks joined him and Sam on the walk out of OSP.

...

...

An hour later Kensi found herself still seated on the floor of her kitchen, head buried between her knees. Damn this she thought, pushing herself up off the floor. The least I can do is go to the mission and see what's going on. "Guess I gotta talk to Deeks too." She muttered out loud.

Walking to the back of her apartment, Kensi dressed quickly in jeans and a loose fitting T-shirt that wouldn't aggravate her ribs. Pulling on her leather boots she grabbed her keys and headed out the front door.

Despite traffic it didn't take long for her arrive at the mission and Kensi bounded through the doors to see an empty bullpen and the other employees of OSP rushing around anxiously. "Nell!" She shouted, seeing her running towards Hetty's office with a thick stack of files tucked under her arm. The small woman turned her attention to Kensi and the female agent ran through the old building to her.

"What's going on, Nell? Where's Deeks?"

Nell sighed deeply and glanced at Hetty before looking back to Kensi. "We found Sofia and William Warner."

"What? Where?"

"Washington DC, we believe that's where the real attack will be taking place."

Kensi's heart dropped to the bottom of her stomach. "So Callen, Sam, and Deeks are..."

"On a plane to DC." Nell confirmed with a nod.

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><p>There it is. Good news the next chapter will probably be the last one! So hope ya like this and please review!<p> 


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